I will hold you close in a thankful heart…

So it’s Thanksgiving.

Even though it’s hard to see sometimes, I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my family, who are the primary motivation behind much of what I do.

I am thankful for my friends, some of whom feel more like family at this point.

I am thankful for God, who chose just the right time to re-introduce Himself to my life and help me find my way, and who has provided so much for me without my even realizing it was happening until it had already happened… especially my new job.

Speaking of which, I am thankful for my new job which provides me the challenges to make life interesting, the opportunities to drive my desire to excel, a corporate-wide moral compass that aligns with my own, and the monetary means to maintain the life I want for myself and my family.

I am thankful for the tangible and intangible things in life that I can enjoy, whether they be movies, video games, snow, a beautiful sunset, a well-written story, or especially music.

I am thankful for My Little Pony, the community that loves it, and the handful of people who introduced me to it.  This show has brought me a lot of joy both in watching it with my family, and in interacting with the community that has gravitated towards it.

If you’re reading this, I am thankful for you.  Especially you.  Yes, you.  <3

Go robot, it’s your birthday…

Yesterday was my birthday.

I received many awesome gifts.  Movies, new clothes for my new job, and even money.

Two gifts stick out above all others, however; both from friends who gave me the gift of laughter when it was needed most.

It was, overall, a great birthday, and as I grow another year older I realize many things about the next steps I will have to make in my life.  I must take efforts to not only maintain the precious connections with friends and family I am now blessed to have, but also to reforge connections that I may have neglected in the recent past.  Come to think of it, perhaps that realization was the best gift of all.

Trapped inside this octavarium…

“I never wanted to become someone like him:

So secure, content to live each day just like the last.

I was sure I knew that this was not for me,

and I wanted so much more

Far beyond what I could see.

So I swore that I’d never be someone like him..

…So many years have passed since I proclaimed

My independence, my mission, my aim,

And my vision; so secure

Content to live each day like it’s my last.

It’s wonderful to know that I could be

Something more than what I dreamed.

Far beyond what I could see,

Still I swear that I’m missing out this time…

…As far as I could tell, there’s nothing more I need,

But still I ask myself ‘could this be everything?!’

Then all I swore that I would never be was now,

So suddenly, the only thing I wanted to become:

To be someone just like him…”

This verse from this song is pretty indicative of myself.  I never wanted to be “that guy.”  You know, the guy who trudges through life on a routine, living each day like the one before.  It always sounded boring to me, and very unfulfilling.  Why not take each day on as though it would be your last?  Live spontaneously!  That’s what makes life interesting.  That’s what keeps you from becoming complacent!

It got to the point where even my job was random.  My hours varied from day to day and week to week.  Plans in my personal life were made on the fly.  The kids constantly kept our schedules hopping.  This was what life was supposed to be like, right?  But even in this, I grew complacent, and soon I began to note some things about people who had a routine:  They seemed so much more content with their life.  They could plan things weeks in advance without having to beg for time off of work.  Life was easier.  I wanted this.  I hated the feeling of complacency, and with three small children a routine would be a good example to set for them.  When I lost my job, I saw (among other things) an opportunity to have this in my life.

Now I have a job where, even though my shifts will consist of evenings once I am out of training, I will have the same schedule and days off every single week for six months.  Plans can be made that can accommodate family, friends and my own pursuits without having to fumble with the possibility that next week’s days off might shift about.  There is concreteness and certainty for the first time in a long time in my schedule, and even though I feel like I’m busier than ever, I can’t say I’ve ever been happier with where I am in this regard.

The link?  What link?  I most certainly did not smuggle ponies in there.  Eyes on the road!

Eyes open, but not getting through to me…

I read a beautiful story today over lunch.

The story was about a six-year-old boy, who snuck out of his home without telling his mom.  He walked to the nearby park, which was empty except for an elderly woman sitting on a bench.  The woman looked incredibly sad and lost, so the boy sat down and started talking to her, telling her of all the joys that fill a six-year-old’s mind.   As the day went by, the little boy reached into his backpack and pulled out some rootbeer and cookies to share with the old woman.

But, as the evening drew on, the little boy began to miss his mother.  So he stood to leave, and as he looked back at the woman, he noticed her smile.  Her smile was so beautiful, the boy felt compelled to run back and give her a great big hug.  When the boy finally returned home, his mother was frantic and demanded to know where he had been.  The boy replied “I met God in the park.  I never realized She would be so old and quiet, and I never thought Her smile would be so beautiful.”

When the old woman returned home, her son was frantic and demanded to know where she had been.

She replied “I met God in the park.  I never realized He would be so young and talkative, or that He would love rootbeer and cookies.”

There is a common theme that runs through many religions, including Christianity:  We all have a bit of the divine in us.  Call it what you will, but many believe that every time you have ever done something thoughtless for somebody, without even thinking about it, it was the work of this divinity working through you.  You can call it God’s grace, or good karma, or whatever, but something chooses that moment to work through us to deliver a positive message to somebody else.  Some of us who are religious can sometimes easily forget that just as God can use others to communicate with us, He can just as easily use us to communicate to others.

A little over a year ago I was on my way to work.  We had just had a huge snowfall here in the Detroit area, and my little car was having a hard time making it out of the driveway much less down the street.  As I approached the main thoroughfare, freaking out because I was getting down to the wire and was almost destined to be late to work, I saw a man round the corner just a little too fast.  He fishtailed a bit, planting his front tires in a bank of soft plowed snow.  His car was irrevocably stuck, and I could see as I waited to turn left that he was incredibly frustrated and in just as much of a hurry as I was.  Perhaps more.

At this point I pulled my car into the parking lot of the party store, figuring if I was going to be late, I might as well have a good reason.  An idea had formed in my head, see:  The night before, Lina had purchased a bag of hay for the rabbit, and we had neglected to bring it into the house.  So, I popped the trunk and grabbed the bag, dragging it over to the man’s car.  I motioned for him to pull the car forward as far as he could, throwing huge handfuls of bunny hay under all 4 of his tires.  Turned out that this wasn’t quite enough, so we did it again.  Half a bag of hay later, the man finally had enough traction behind his tires that he could get his vehicle out of the rut and get on his way.  He motioned his gratitude, and we went on our separate ways.  I was almost twenty minutes late to work, and my name went down in the attendance guide, but I felt good about what I had done and had no regrets.

God is in the stranger who holds the door open when your arms are laden with books.

God is in the friend who gives you just the right advice at just the right time without realizing it.

God is in the friend who shares something small that brings them joy, when you feel like joy has abandoned you.

God is in the woman who sings a song you’ve known since childhood in a way that makes you finally understand the true meaning of the lyrics.

God is in the little boy who makes you smile when your age and the weight of the world are at their heaviest.

God is in the old woman, whose smile can light up your day.

God is in the man who gives half a bag of pet food to help you out of a snowbank.

These things are never chance.  Sometimes it takes a story like that to remind us just how often God uses us to do good in the world.

There are no words for this awesome.

Red Lobster standing by.

Come in, Book Fort.  Over.

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life…

To those who decided I no longer need to be employed at my previous job:

Thank you.

You gave me the motivation to find a new professional home for myself, and also, by giving me a trial I could not handle alone, helped me to re-open my heart to spirituality.  God has helped me to get through all the hurdles I’ve been delivered, and I recognize His influence in my life now.  There are bigger hurdles to come, but I now have faith that, when I come out the other side, I’ll be all the stronger… all because you wanted to save some money.  And yet, I hold no ill will toward you, for without your decision I would not be where I am now.  So, thank you.

To those who have cared enough to not only offer encouragement, but criticism and guidance through these rough times in my life:

Thank you.

You have shown me that the best friends in life, aren’t always nice… but they always have your best interests at heart.  It’s true of humans, it’s true of God and it’s true of fate.  Sometimes it can even feel downright cruel, but when you have walked that path and looked behind you to see what you’ve come through and what it’s caused you to become, you realize that you would never have made it without those people.  You support without carrying, you listen without enabling, you speak without judging, and that is the purest friendship I think I’ve ever felt.  Thank you even more.  I only hope that, one day, I can be as good a friend to all of you, as you have been to me.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. -Prov. 27:17